1. Thou Shalt Prepare Thyself Properly
Thoroughly anoint thyself with a gentle facial cleanser and warm water, for cleanliness is next to shaveliness.
2. Thou Shalt Use As Few Blades As Necessary
For more shall tempt the demons of irritation.
3. Thou Shalt Use A Sharp Blade
Those same demons of irritation shalt seek another way to tempt those who are overly parsimonious.
4. Remember To Honor Thy Grain
Knoweth the directions thy stubble grow in. For knowing thyself is the key to happiness. But neither shall thou be a slave to it’s mercy, by wielding the correct tool and the correct ways.
5. Thou Shalt Reduce Thy Stubble
6. Thou Shalt Not Overly Stretch Thy Skin
Flattening thy skin shall be rewarded; dramatic stretching is a sign of the disbeliever.
7. Thou Shalt Use The Lightest Possible Touch
For pressure begets depression, which in-turn begets another temptation of the demons of irritation.
8. Thou Shalt Take Thy Strokes Modestly
Remember to honor thy shave by taking short strokes, for long strokes shall forsaken it.
9. Thou Shalt Take Thy Time
For impatience will surely tempt thee to take the Lord’s name in vain.
10. Thou Shalt Not Use Alcohol In Thou’s After Shave Preparation
For such a shaving mélange will do thou no good in the fullness of time.